The way I see it, fear is a weird thing.
For some people, fear is heights, or cockroaches, or public speaking. For others it's spiders, or the dark, or creepy murderers that hide in your closet or under your bed at night waiting to kill you unless your full body is completely eveloped in your comforter.
I think that everyone is afraid of something, whether it's an insect smaller then your pinkie finger or getting kidnapped on the way home from school.
For me, fear is the unknown. It's the moments where I don't have control, where I'm completely helpless, where I can't even begin to predict what will happen or where I don't understand. Those are the moments that make me feel the most anxious.
And the unknown has been playing a big role in my life recently.
December of last year, I went to see a friend in a play, and came home what you could call inspired. I realized there was a chance, albeit not a great one, that I could get into an arts school for high school. I was, for the most part, unprepared for what would be a 5 part audition process only a few months away, and competing against applicants who moved to Texas just to go to this school.
I prepared. I auditioned. And then I waited.
And kept waiting. (No control? Check. Completely helpless? Check. Can't predict what will happen? Check.)
It's now 6 months later, and I'll be going to the arts school in 47 days. I'm in, I know where I'm going to high school, I have my schedule, everything is sorted out.
But I guess that's another funny thing about fear. It never really goes away.
Coming from my background of middle school, switching over to a school like the one I'll be going to is kind of a big change, and frankly really terrifying.
It's not the aspect of the unkown that is being left behind or not being good enough anymore, but the fear of social acceptance and meeting new people. It's the literal fear of the unknown, not knowing. That's my fear.
